believer in my Maker & Savior

Abnormal Psychology scares me yet it feels weird that even though I still have probably 5% of being exempted from a final exam on this subject, still I don't feel motivated to study. (Like now, I am supposed to be reading) For one, I performed badly on the last quiz which I didn't know will be considered as bonus points for the fourth long test. Secondly, I am frustrated to discover that I don't study my books the way I did when I was in my freshman, sophomore and junior years in college. Unlike before, I don't do my own reviewers anymore. I always feel lazy and I just feel like sleeping most of the time. Probably because I am also frustrated that I can't get my body to work-out lately.

Hmmm...weird.
Defense for thesis proposal is on wednesday. I guess the fear will be on my system still on Tuesday right after the abnormal Psychology exam.

Abnormal Psychology scares me yet it feels weird that even though I still have probably 5% of being exempted from a final exam on this subject, still I don't feel motivated to study. (Like now, I am supposed to be reading) For one, I performed badly on the last quiz which I didn't know will be considered as bonus points for the fourth long test. Secondly, I am frustrated to discover that I don't study my books the way I did when I was in my freshman, sophomore and junior years in college. Unlike before, I don't do my own reviewers anymore. I always feel lazy and I just feel like sleeping most of the time. Probably because I am also frustrated that I can't get my body to work-out lately.

Hmmm...weird.
Defense for thesis proposal is on wednesday. I guess the fear will be on my system still on Tuesday right after the abnormal Psychology exam.

I cannot wait for the sem to be over. I want to rest and I want to join the church's OYE (if there is). I've been bad these past few weeks and I haven't been attending cell group meetings because of the busy schedule at school.

This time, I want to be really serious on working on with my spiritual walk with God.

Meet Kahlil! my cute one-day one nephew

God bless you baby, and your parents as well!

God answered my prayer last night. Our teacher in Abnormal Psychology, Dr. Ramos commended us for an informative, well-planned and enjoyable presentation on aging and psychological disorders. Kat, Niq and I were so happy. :)

Kat, Niq and I.

Kat took our photo through her phone at our Educational Psyche classroom, right after our class presentation.

I am very happy for my Ate. She is now a mother. I was expecting Ate Alot to give birth still on October, yet I found out a while ago that she was already having labor. Her son is one more angel for the family. I am sure that just like Krizza (my niece) I am also be so attached to my new nephew. Congats Ate Alot and Kuya Ian. I am so excited to see your baby.
Lord I pray for Alot Alot and Kuya Christian's new born son. I pray that both of them will be the best parents they can be. I also pray that they will be able to raise up their son well.

Haha..this happened again. Just because I thought I did something wrong that's why my webpage looks different, I tinkered with the color properties and actually changed the whole appearance of my weblog. That's why it looks like this now. I can't do an all pink motif anymore.

Anyway, I was so stupid. I thought that the deadline for Abnormal Psyche's case study is tomorrow, that's why I am forcing myself to finish it tonight. Good thing Kass called before I have it printed. And also, I am delaying the review I have to make for tomorrow's group report with Niq and Kat on Aging ang Psychological Disorders, still for Abnormal Psychology.

Lord, I pray that you bless us and give us the wisdom and confidence to speak in front of the whole class. We hope that we will be able to at least make our teacher satisfied with our report.

I am so proud of myself. This is the first long weekend I had during the entire semester when I actually feel that I did something for school. Though I also feel that what I was able to do was still not enough, I still feel pretty satisfied with the efforts I put on trying to finish all the papers due this coming week. So far, I am already done with three major papers.

Today's Sunday school was fun. The kids were all behaved and I didn't have a hard time managing the classroom even though my partner was absent. Thank you God.

I had a bad day yesterday. I really wanted to be angry and yes, I was very angry. I just really could not understand, why some people can be so irresponsible when they are part of a group. I mean you should see to it that you do the job you actually voluntary owned.

I or we just shouldn't have trusted her or them in the first place, since we know how irresponsible she/they are. oh, this life is such a big gamble.

Just when I said that God gave me a forgiveful heart yesterday afternoon, something happened that night that actually made me think and question if I can forgive God. I know it's bad. I know it should be God forgiving us, but then my concern just makes me really question why God lets some unfortunate things happen, even to innocent individuals.

It amazes me to discover that one of the gifts God gave me is a forgiveful heart.

Song of the Moment: A BROKEN SPIRIT.

I remember my ACET days.

I'm getting abnormal with the scores I'm getting at my Abnormal Psychology tests. :(

I hate the remaining days of the semester.

 

Yesterday, my brother Romell lost his allowance for the whole week. He didn't know where he lost or fell it yesterday morning. Of course, a small amount is still a money, so everyone in the family felt sad or blameful but also thankful because at least, it's just money and not my brother's life. So we just forgot about what happened and went on with the night. We of course thought, that with that amount, we could have bought a much more delicious dinner for everyone.

So we slept.

However this morning, I was awakened by panics of people at home. Hahah...my sister's cellphone was stolen--and guess where....at our own house! For goodness' sake! My mother said that a gay came by and was asking for alms. He was also served water by my tita, when he asked for it. And then the next events occured...

It would probably be abnormal if we didn't feel hatred towards that man. So we were in our own normal lives and consiousness again and just let go. 

Let us use some defense mechanism:
They say in every situation, there's a blessing. Everyone at home after the incident just felt more thankful because at least again, it's just a cellphone and not Kreng's life. We're thankful that it happned at our own house and not somewhere else where Kreng's life my be threatened. Still everything is a blessing. Material things, we know we can still gain but life we cannot anymore. As for the gay guy, we pray for his soul.

Let me talk to God.
Lord, this is the second time, i hope there's no third ot next unfortunate time anymore. I pray th ere's no life or health that will be threatened/lost. Lord, thank you for making us see still your many blessings.

On becoming a monster.
i think my Ate is slowly becoming a monster. She boasts of her quality that she could not easily forgive people. Today, she was blaming the people who entertained the gay, that's why the cellphone got lost. I even heard once, while she was on a conversation with her boyfriend that she even called her enemy at her office demonyita. I was just listening and I wanted to confront her and say what I was supposed to say as a Christian. I pray for her and her boyfriend who tolerates these kinds of things.

As for me, with all that are happening, I wish I was braver. I wish was braver as a christian and talk of God inspite of these all. I wish was and will be braver to really face the reality that things will be lost and someday life.

I am currently sleepy. But then I still have lots of things to do for school.

SIDENOTE: I hate groupworks! There are just people who are so irresponsible and won't even care if their other groupmates are working while they are...i don't know what they are doing.

But then, my thesis group is an exception. Kass and Niq are two wonderful thesis-mates.

Upon seeing TV Patrol today, I felt that once again the Filipinos are not divided. The series of their news, presented different Filipino audience who watched Manny Pacquiao's boxing game, where he won--where the Philippines and all the Filipinos all over the world won. I am not a big boxing fan, but then I was just inspired to see people rejoicing. Everyone's happy and it made me happy.

Congatulations to Manny Pacquiao for winning but more so for bringing the Filipinos together as one race. Thank you for giving us a break from all those political noise and unrests.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in
trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give
way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though
its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their
surging.  "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be
exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our
fortress.

Psalms 46:1-3, 10-11

This was the verse that I received today in my email. I subcribed to this religious site that sends bible verses everyday for free.

Yesterday, the impeachment complaint against President Arroyo was killed by the majority of the country's congressmen. With what is happening in the Philippines, I hope that people would truly take refuge in God and not to individuals in power. I pray that God will touch people's hearts and minds so that they will know what is the right thing to do.

I pray for this country, for its people and its future generation.

Here is another email I got.

HOW TO HELP OUR COUNTRY
First posted 11:20pm (Mla time) July 30, 2005
By Ramon J. Farolan (Inquirer News Service)
Editor's Note: Published on page A13 of the July 31,2005 issue of the
Philippine Daily Inquirer

THERE'S a booklet making the rounds in Metro Manila that every Filipino who loves his country should get hold of and read, and hopefully put the points it raises into practice, in order to help our nation.  It doesn't dwell on a shift to a parliamentary form of government or a federal system, which our politicians are so fond of talking about as the answer to our problems, or as a way of providing a graceful exit for someone. It
doesn't dwell on the need for an expanded value-added tax, which our financial geniuses have been proposing as the answer to our fiscal deficits.

"Twelve (12) Little Things Every Filipino Can Do To Help Our Country,"
by Alexander Ledesma Lacson, may be a "voice in the wilderness"; but as Fr. Ruben Tanseco, S.J. puts it, what Alex proposes are "very concrete, practical and doable" actions for us ordinary Filipinos. And the best part is that these 12 things don't need to be debated upon by our congressmen and senators, reviewed by a bicameral conference committee and finally signed by the President before they can be part of the laws of the land, which may or may not be complied with because our
Supreme Court can "TRO" [issue a temporary restraining order on] the whole thing; and it may take time to resolve the issue, which then would still be the subject of a possible motion for reconsideration.

What is needed to get these 12 things moving are leaders in our homes, "barangay" [villages or neighborhood districts], educational institutions and civic organizations who willbe the point men and women in the dissemination and implementation of these "twelve little things."Forget about our political leaders. They're too busy with Charter change or electoral reforms-the sort of activities that will ensure their continued stay in office or that of their children and relatives.

A simple enumeration of these "twelve little things" will not do justice to the work of Alex. You've got to read the whole text, but I shall try to compress a few lines for some of the items mentioned.

1. Follow traffic rules -- Why is that the most important? The answer is
simple. Traffic rules are the simplest of our laws. If we learn to follow
them, it will be the lowest form of national discipline that we can
develop. Since it is totally without monetary cost, it should be easy for
us to comply with, and therefore should provide a good start.

2. Whenever you buy or pay for anything, always ask for an official receipt. -- If a seller does not issue an official receipt when you buy a product, the seller may or may not remit the tax to the government. Without an O.R., there is no record of the sale transaction, and the tax that you paid may not be remitted to the Bureau of Internal
Revenue.

3. Do not buy smuggled goods. Buy local, buy Filipino. -- It may not be
good economics to buy 100 percent local products. What I suggest is for us to take a "50-50" buying attitude. This means that we must develop the
attitude of using 50 percent of our budget for local products and the other
50 percent for imported choices.

4. When you talk to others, especially foreigners, speak positively of our
race and our country -- this is best addressed to the rich and the middle
class in our country, who have contact with the outside world. It is they
who talk to, dine or deal with foreigners either here or abroad. It is what
they say and do which creates impressions about us among foreigners.

5. Respect your traffic officer, policeman, soldier and other public
servants-- There is nothing like the power of respect.  It makes a person
proud. It makes one feel honorable. At the same time, courtesy to others is
good manners. It is class and elegance and kindness. It is seeing the value
and dignity in the other man. It is, in fact, a mark of a most profound education.

6. Do not litter. Dispose your garbage properly.Segregate. Recycle.Conserve. -- As Louis Armstrong says in his song: "I see trees of green, red roses, too, I see them bloom for me and you and I think to myself, what a wonderful world."

7. Support your church. ( and PRAY !!! )

8. During elections, do your solemn duty. -- Honesty, more than a masteral or doctorate degree, is what gives credibility. And credibility is essential because it is a leader's link to the people.  It is what makes the people look to one direction, follow a common vision, and perform a uniform act. In short, credibility is what makes people follow the leader.

9. Pay your employees well. -- No exercise is better for the human heart
than to reach down and lift someone else up. This truly defines a successful life. For success is the sum, not of our earthly possessions, but of how many times we have shown love and kindness to others.

10. Pay your taxes. -- In 2003, P83 billion was collected from individual
income taxes. But 91 percent of this amount came from salaried workers from the government and private sector, people who had no choice since their income taxes were withheld mandatorily. Only P7 billion of the P83 billion came from businessmen and professionals like doctors, lawyers, accountants and architects, among others.

11. Adopt a scholar or adopt a poor child. - You can make a difference in the future of our country by making a difference in the world of children.

12. Be a good parent. Teach your kids to follow the law and to love our
country. -- Today's children will someday rule and lead this world. But
whether they will be bad rulers or good leaders will depend largely on how
we raise them today. Our future is in the hearts and minds of our
children.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in
trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give
way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though
its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their
surging.  "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be
exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our
fortress.

Psalms 46:1-3, 10-11

This was the verse that I received today in my email. I subcribed to this religious site that sends bible verses everyday for free.

Yesterday, the impeachment complaint against President Arroyo was killed by the majority of the country's congressmen. With what is happening in the Philippines, I hope that people would truly take refuge in God and not to individuals in power. I pray that God will touch people's hearts and minds so that they will know what is the right thing to do.

I pray for this country, for its people and its future generation.

There are so many things that remind me of Ron-ron, my youngest brother. Somehow, these things make me smile but then most of the time they make me feel sad, grieve and cry. Until now, still I can't get over his early and unexpected death. But then, my feelings make me think of how sadder it is for my parents to accept the truth. For my Mommy, I know that when she is alone, she also cries and asks God why. For my Daddy, I am pretty sure that the memories of Ron's last words and breaths are still fresh on his mind. For the rest of my siblings, I know once in a while that just like me, they would cry over because they also remember our beloved little spoiled-brat brother.

Tonight, siomai made me remember Ron. He just loved siomai. We would buy siomai together and we would eat them together. Actually we just both loved buying food and eating food.

I don't want to over-sadden my self with the siomai. Enough for now.

By Your Side

O dear God we ask Your favour
Come and sweep through this place
O we desire You
I just want to be where with You
Be where You are
Dwell in Your presence O God
O I want to walk with You
And I will climb this mountain
And I step off the shore
And I have chosen to follow
And be by Your side forever more
Tell me what You want to do Lord God
Tell me what You want for my life
It's Yours O God it's Yours
Do Your will have Your way
Be Lord God in this place
O I want your will to be done

I feel bloated. I just hate this day! I can't work and study. I really feel sleep-deprived after that overnight thesis work at Kass' place.

Today's recollection, posted this question!
Namatay ka na ba, para mabuhay ang iba?

It struck me and I know it touched a part of my heart.

Mahirap sagutin ang tanong na ito. Mahirap sapagkat marahil, kadalasan ay binubuhay ko lamang ang aking sarili. Ang mamatay para sa iba ay isang sakripisyo, isang serbisyo, isang tawag, at isang pagtugon sa tawag na ito. Ngunit, sa mga pagkakataong ako ay tumugon sa pangangailangan ng kapwa, kakaiba ang aking naging pakiramdam. Napakasarap isipin na hindi lamang pala tayo iniligtas ni Hesus. Sa pamamagitan ng kanyang buhay muli Niya tayong inilapit sa Panginoon. Ngunit, marahil higit pa rito ay isa ring biyaya ang kanyang pagkamatay. Ang dugo ng sakripisyo ni Hesus ay nagbigay rin sa sangkatauhan ng dugong handa ring mamatay para sa kapwa.

Tama, may kakayahan akong katulad Niya.

Yiiiihhhhheeeeeee....abnormal psyche long exam is at last over.