I came back just to say...

I feel tired.
When I could just simply accept things as they are and as they happen,
then life would just be very easy.
It's becoming my habit to make life seem difficult and complicated.

It's wonderful to have friends.
when I'm with peers, that is the time that I am most happy,
second to being with my family, especially with my nephews and niece.
Yet at times, it is also tiring to just have one body and try to be available
to all your friends and your family, and practically to all the people who surround you

But maybe I don't really feel tired.
I am just thinking too much and dang this brain for functioning this way.

I honestly just have so many things around going and I don't know which of them matter most. Maybe it's guilt knowing I am wasting so much of my time in things that won't get me to where I want to be in the years to come. Yes, I am just guilty because even if everybody thinks that I am working too hard, I really am not. I am slacking and not burning my ass off to get to my dreams. I feel so stupid because I am such a lazy girl who sleeps her problems off. Things get in and out of my ears, my brain, my whole system.

I just hate commitments. It's giving me headaches, day in, day out.
Oh well, life.

But thank you God, because you are the reason why I will have to love "commitment." You've been faithful and so should I. Cry cry cry.

...ANd I apologize for coming back and blogging this way.